ftm transgender

FEARS

As I’m doing my research, I read horror stories. Transgender people getting beat up, even killed, because of who they are. I see graphic photos of surgeries. I am terrified.

I was always a bit scared when Jaime came out as gay. She was subjecting herself to haters. People who were so ignorant that they couldn’t see my baby girl as the person she really was. They would hate her just because of some label they put on her. My fears, to my knowledge, (thankfully) have been unfounded. It’s a more accepting world out there. However, that being said, there is so much more that needs to be done. There are still haters. I can’t change them. All I can do is make it be normal. I have always made Jaime’s gayness normal. I have never hesitated to tell people my daughter is gay. She is my daughter and I am proud of her. I don’t care who she loves as long as she is happy.

Transgender is new. I know lots of gay people but Jaime is the first transgender person I have ever met. I am scared because people don’t like change/new stuff. The funny thing is, it really isn’t new. My research takes me back to the 50’s and 60’s and transgender people I didn’t know even existed. They were ground breakers and I thank them. All I can do is make it be normal. Still, I worry. I’m a Momma.

The work stuff scares me. She hasn’t come out at work yet. She is just starting to come out a bit more publicly now. Is she going to lose her job? I would hope that she won’t be discriminated against in the workplace. She can still do her job. Being a transgender man doesn’t change that. Still, I worry. I’m a Momma.

The physical stuff scares me too. She is taking hormone therapy and I worry about the effects of that. I am happy that she is being monitored by a physician and I have to trust that she is in good hands. She is going to have top surgery which involves the removal of her breasts. I have supported people who have gone through this due to breast cancer and they have come through it with flying colours. It probably isn’t going to happen for a year or so. We will cross that bridge when we come to it. Of course I will be there holding her hand and cheering her on. Still, I worry. I’m a Momma.

Public perception stuff scares me too. How are people going to take this? They accepted that she was gay, everybody knows a gay person, but this is different. Is she going to be beat up in a public washroom? When she was gay, she was still a girl but now she’s not. She is going to face the whole bathroom thing and it’s a very hot topic right now. There are some pretty hardcore opinions about it. It is hard right now during the transitional stage. She still looks like a girl. Once she takes on more masculine features and has the surgery hopefully it will get easier. Still, I worry. I’m a Momma.

So there it is. My fears.

1 thought on “FEARS

  1. Shelley – you are the most loving/caring momma around. I don’t pretend to understand how you feel but I know you and I know Jeremy Landon and Steph – you guys are going to be just fine.

    They have you and I can’t think of anyone better to help them and support them.

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