OK, breathe in, breathe out. I am the type of person who needs to know everything. I am the web searching queen. Google Transgender. Wow, whole new world.
FTM (female to male)
MTF (male to female)
The list goes on.
I spend the next couple of days absorbing all there is to learn. I get some answers but still have questions. How do other Moms feel? There are very few resources for us. The ones I do find are about children and teens. Those Moms figured this out when their kids were young. I start to doubt myself. Why didn’t I see this earlier? Am I a bad Mom because I didn’t see the signs? Was it the times and this stuff just wasn’t out there? I realize I can’t go back and change history. All I can do is embrace this and move forward. No sense beating myself up.
I ask Jaime questions, she answers all of them. I am wrapping my head around this. I am starting to get it. We are going into a new phase in our lives where I have two sons. I now realize that Jaime is not becoming a boy, she has always identified as being a boy.
I am no longer crying. I haven’t lost my daughter, I have gained my son.